Disagreements happen in every relationship. When two people are spending a lot of time together and their lives are closely intertwined, disagreements are inevitable. These can be big or small, but how they are dealt with can have a big impact on your relationship. Having a fight with your partner doesn’t mean there is trouble in your relationship. In fact, fighting is actually healthy, as long as it is handled properly. When conflicts are resolved constructively, you can get a better understanding of your partner. But, if they escalate, they can lead to a lot of ill will. So, how do you resolve relationship conflict? Here are some tips that can help:
Be direct
Sometimes people don’t come out and state what is wrong plainly and express their displeasure indirectly. For instance, one may speak in a condescending manner to imply hostility. Some people pout and mope, but don’t really address the issue. This is not constructive at all because it allows the problem to fester. Instead, you should learn to be direct and share what is wrong so the issue can be resolved.
Don’t blame your partner when you talk
You need to talk about the way you are feeling but do so without blaming your partner. Your goal should be to make your partner understand how you feel when they do something and not blame them for doing it. Of course, this also depends on the nature and stage of your relationship and how much you understand each other.
Be calm and respectful during heated conversations
You shouldn’t cross lines and start taunting and insulting your partner when things get heated. You need to stay focused on the issue at hand and not involve any personal jibes in it. If your partner tends to get aggressive and heated, you should step back and let them calm down.
Get to the root of the problem of relationship conflict
Sometimes when you have an argument with your partner, it happens that someone’s needs are not being fulfilled. If you think that your significant other is sweating the small stuff, then you need to evaluate whether there may be a bigger problem that you haven’t identified. Getting to the root of the problem is a must if you don’t want to have the same arguments over and over again. Moreover, it is also a good idea to step in your partner’s shoes and look at things from their perspective. Consider how you would feel if your roles were reversed. Rather than just trying to push your point, you should attempt to be a bit understanding.
Pick your battles
Having a constructive discussion means that you need to focus on one problem at a time. It is very easy for a conversation to spin out of control when it gets heated and nothing will be resolved this way. Don’t drag past problems, or other issues you two may have when you are trying to resolve a specific relationship conflict.
Find some middle ground to end this relationship conflict
It is of the utmost importance to find a balance between what both partners want and are also comfortable with. If you both want the relationship to work, then you will try and come to an agreement without feeling like you are making a huge sacrifice. Compromising is one of the most vital ways of resolving conflicts in all relationships and finding some middle ground can actually be easier than you think. You can also agree to disagree on some things or think about whether you can resolve the issue or not. This will help you make better decisions for the future of your relationship.
