You are having an argument with your partner and emotions are running high. You feel angry and are tempted to lash out at them just to get your voice heard. You become increasingly frustrated as the argument progresses, but you want to be in control of your anger. However, controlling your anger seems to be getting more and more difficult by the minute. So, how can you keep your anger in control when you are having a heated discussion, or a fight, with your partner? Here are some of the best tips that can help:
Slow down
It is very easy to get carried away when you are angry because your emotions are at an all-time high. But, this doesn’t make it a productive solution. As a matter of fact, this can actually escalate the conflict and you won’t be able to solve it together. Rather than letting your feelings take control and drive you, it is better to take a few minutes to slow down. You need to take a breath and process your feelings. It is possible to put a fight on hold and come back to it later, giving both of you time to cool down.
Go over your emotional reactions
Feelings are quite visceral when you react emotionally. You may feel that the moment is true, even if it is not the complete truth. You need to question yourself when you have a strong emotional reaction. When you slow down, you have the chance to do so and this will bring you to the truth. This means listening to your partner’s side of the conversation as well as putting yourself in their shoes.
Think before speaking
This is a universal rule that you should follow in a number of situations. When you are fighting with your partner, think about what is coming out of your mouth before you speak. Unkind and harsh words come easily when you are fighting and you cannot take them back. This can actually harm your relationship and hinder the ability to resolve a conflict.
Think about the future
You also need to think about how this fight will affect your future. Will the whole thing matter tomorrow, a week, or even a month later? You have to decide how to handle the conflict carefully by considering its future impact on your relationship. When you gain some perspective, you and your partner will be able to decide how to handle the situation without letting it get out of hand.
Empathize with your partner
One of the most important components of a healthy relationship is empathy. You cannot solve interpersonal conflicts without it. This means taking out the time to understand your partner’s perspective and feelings. Practicing empathy can actually help in cooling the anger you feel and can actually make even insurmountable conflicts manageable. When you are able to empathize, the two of you may be able to find a solution to the conflict that’s acceptable for both of you.
