Conflict in relationships is considered normal. We don’t live in a fairy tale world where everything is perfect and you both don’t have any problems. It is not strange for couples to fight over the small things from time to time or flip out over misunderstandings. This is basic human nature. In fact, conflicts can also strengthen the relationship because they bring you closer together once they are resolved. However, this can only happen when conflicts are resolved and not just buried or ignored. Also, if they become too frequent, they can end up damaging the relationship altogether.
Therefore, you have to take immediate steps to overcome any conflicts you are facing in a relationship so you and your partner can grow together and become even closer than before. If you are at sea about what to do, here are 10 tips that can help you to a great extent:
- Don’t sweat over the small stuff
Your relationship is important to you and you have gone through a lot together. It is best to learn not to make every little mole hill into a mountain. Making a battle out of everything, especially unimportant things, is only going to distance you from your partner. Not every disagreement has to lead to an argument and you have to learn to pick your battles. This doesn’t mean that you bow down to someone else’s demands and ignore something when you feel strongly about it, but you should take some time to think if it is worth fighting about before taking it to the next level.
- Learn to accept
When you are in a middle of a conflict, you have to remember that the person on the other side has a different background and experience. They haven’t been in your shoes and vice versa. Yes, you can try and imagine what they are going through, but they are the ones who can really explain to you how it feels. So, you have to learn to listen and accept.
- You need to be patient
It is tough being patient during the heat of the moment, but you have to practice so you can get better at it. Sometimes, the best way to deal with a situation is to stop and take a couple of deep breaths or you can also decide to postpone the discussion and bring it up again when both of you have calmed down.
- Don’t get carried away with your expectations
One of the biggest reasons why conflicts occur in relationships is because people let their expectations run away with their imagination. You have to remember that the other person may also have expectations and they might be different than yours. This means that you need to keep your expectations in check. They need to be realistic and practical and don’t make assumptions that you both have come into the relationship with the same expectations. It doesn’t mean that you lower your expectations; it just means that you adjust them.
- Remember that you both want the same thing
Most likely, you both have entered into the relationship with the same purpose and you want to continue having a peaceful and happy relationship. You need to remember that you want to feel connected as this will help you in reaching the same results as your partner. You want harmony in your relationship so it doesn’t get damaged in any way.
- Focus on behavior
There is a common mistake that people make in a relationship, which leads to conflicts. Instead of focusing on the wrong or inappropriate behavior of their partner, they decide to focus on the ‘flaws’ in their personality. You cannot have a relationship in which you expect your partner to change their personality altogether. A successful relationship is one where you learn to accept the flaws in each other and still love them. Personal attacks are quite damaging and can have long term consequences. You should discuss the behavior that upset you and not your idea of what is wrong with their personality.
- Clarify the actions
Conflicts often occur in the best of relationships because one or both of the people tend to make assumptions. They don’t ask for clarifications from the other and just assume that this must be why they did it. In essence, they just perceive their action to mean something else entirely even though it is not based on fact. Most of the time, your partner is not doing something to hurt you and it only happens as a byproduct. Therefore, instead of assuming things, it is best for you to say things out right and get the action clarified. This is great for preventing misunderstandings, which eventually lead to fights.
- The objective should be to solve the problem
When there is conflict in a relationship and they decide to talk about it in order to resolve it, they often lose sight of what they are doing. Rather than staying focused on solving the issue that is causing problems, they become obsessed with winning the fight. They don’t want to come out as the bad guys so they are bent on trying to lay the blame at their partner’s feet. It is best to remember that actions of both people in a relationship lead to situations and no one person is responsible.
- Accept the response
Once you get a response for something that happened, you should learn to accept. Don’t question the explanation unless it is not plausible generally. Doubting them is going to inflict even more damage on your relationship than the original conflict.
- Leave it in the past
When both of you have shared your sides, you should learn to let it go. Hopefully, your discussion ended in a mutually satisfying scenario and you both can now focus on moving past it. Don’t keep holding onto it once things have been said. Learn to let it go and let the past stay in the past.
